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Funny Christmas Quotes Humorous
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 Informative Article Summary by Anny Redperz
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
- Anonymous
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year."
- P.J. O'Rourke
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
- Johnny Carson
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
- Larry Wilde
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Humorous quote by Erma Bombeck
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
- Charles Dickens
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Humorous saying by Shirley Temple
People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December."
- Ogden Nash
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Xmas.
- Johnny Carson
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
- Humorous Dave Barry Quotes
Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times.
- Kate L. Bosher
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
- Humorous Christmas quotes by W.C. Fields
Famous Christmas Family and movie Quotes
There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
- Bill McKibben
A Merry Christmas to everybody! A Happy New Year to the world!
- Charles Dickens
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
- Famous Washington Irving quotes
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words.
- Famous Christmas Family quote by Harlan Miller
I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses.
- Taylor Caldwell
Of all dear days is Christmas Day the dearest and the best.
- Margaret E. Sangster
I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
- Charles Dickens
Xmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.
- Famous Christmas quotes by Lenora Mattingly Weber
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
- Hamilton Wright Mabi
Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends.
- Famous Margaret Thatcher sayings
I am sure that I have always thought of Xmas time, when it has come round...as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.
- Famous Charles Dickens quotes
What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
- Agnes M. Pharo
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.
- W.J. Cameron
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy
family all wrapped up in each other.
- Famous quote by Burton Hillis
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple
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